End the Plight of Abandoned Shopping Carts Everywhere

Howdy, I’m Liberty Fillmore, Cart Whisperer. And I’m gonna say this in PLAIN HUMAN ENGLISH: everywhere I go, I see shopping carts tossed aside. Cast off. Abandoned. In super-value-store parking lots. And, more and more, on the interweb which is online. People say, “I’m all gonna fill up my shopping cart with things," and then before they hit the BUY button, they say, "Oh, I don’t feel secure. I ain’t buying this stuff here."

Well, boo hoo, cowards. How do you think that cart fills? Left there, full up and then abandoned before she can fulfill her cartly duties? Well, that’s why I rescue abandoned carts. And why I welcome the support of VeriSign and their EV SSL Product Thing. Join our ranks, and put your cart abandonment issues to rest.

How to get deputized, legiticately.

Take a cart’s picture and chuck it up here. Well, actually don’t upchuck it. Upload it. Your reward? You’ll be a deputy in the greatest cause on Garth's Great Earth.
Git going >>